


maybe someday

by haechan143



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Attempt at Humor, Emotional Infidelity, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:08:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26236177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haechan143/pseuds/haechan143
Summary: Donghyuck has never really felt satisfied with his life — never really felt secure in his decisions or content with his day-to-day life. The only thing he is sure of, however, is his boyfriend, Jaehyun.That is, until Mark Lee, a stranger in the apartment across from his who has always caught his eye, tells him that Jaehyun is cheating on him... with his next-door neighbor, who Donghyuck considers to be one of his closest friends.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 10
Kudos: 124





	1. living a lie

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to my first chaptered fic :)
> 
> this is kinda inspired by the book 'Maybe Someday' by Colleen Hoover (one of my all time favs!!!) this first chapter is kinda just an introduction to everything; a sneak peek into the characters' heads, inner thoughts, their personalities, etc. because as the tags say this is Slowburn!!!
> 
> a Huuuuge thank you to my friends [chels](https://twitter.com/jaem4rks) and jenaira for beta-ing this fic! it wouldn't be what it is without you guys, you mean the world to me!!!
> 
> i hope you enjoy! :)

Donghyuck is running, like he always does when he wakes up and feels a little pit in his stomach. A constant reminder of all the mistakes he’s made that have led up to where he is right now.

He’s a few minutes away from his apartment, wanting nothing more than to run away from all the problems he has.

Donghyuck is good at that — running. He’s been doing it since he was young and realized that he didn’t really want to be around his problems all the time. Sometimes, he just wants to get away and give himself some space to breathe, to look at the bigger picture and try to figure things out on his own.

Though he doesn’t really understand _what exactly_ his problem is. The only thing their apartment has that the outside world doesn’t is his boyfriend — and he’s happy with his boyfriend. He _is._

At least that’s what he’s been trying to tell himself these last few months. Recently, something changed between them and he couldn’t understand what exactly it was. 

Was it the way Jaehyun stopped coming home early? Or was it Donghyuck's fault because he somehow failed to give Jaehyun the love he deserved which caused him to pull away?

That was the thought running through Donghyuck’s head today, the thought pushing it’s way forward with every step he took. He jogs down the sidewalks that lead him nearer to the city — he’s been gone for so long he didn’t even realize the time, and how little of it he has left before his first class of the day.

It was one of the days he knew Jaehyun had to leave early for work, something else that changed only a few months ago. Donghyuck remembers when they’d lie in bed together, just holding each other as the sun slipped past their curtains and hit their faces, making them glow in ways that made his heart skip a beat.

But now Jaehyun left for work way earlier than he used to, and it was also around the same time Donghyuck started going on his early morning runs before class.

He has a few minutes left before class starts when he finally enters his building. His calves burn as he slows his pace and makes his way to the stairway in the corner.

The apartment is empty when Donghyuck enters, nothing out of the normal at all. He grabs himself a glass of water in the kitchen before hopping in the shower, letting the hot water splash down on his back as he hangs his head low.

He thinks of just skipping his first class and maybe getting a little more time to himself instead of rushing around and making it just a few minutes before class ends. It isn’t a very important class, anyway, and their professor let them have the period off when she didn’t feel like teaching.

Donghyuck finds himself standing on his balcony, not really there for anything except the feel of the wind blowing on his face as time passes by. He closes his eyes, basking in the cold air as his fingers tighten around the mug of coffee in his hands.

It’s his favorite mug, a gift from his and Jaehyun’s neighbor — a kind boy named Jungwoo who moved into the apartment beside them a few months ago. He always tries making conversation with Donghyuck, getting to know both him and Jaehyun. He was a good friend and he always invited the boyfriends over to his apartment when he felt lonely.

His eyes involuntarily trail up, locking onto the balcony above the one across from theirs. There isn’t anything special about it, just that it was always empty and it seemed like more than one person owned it.

There have been four different people Donghyuck has spotted living in the apartment, and none of them seemed to be living there permanently — like it was just a place they went to when they weren’t in their real homes.

Donghyuck wonders if the people there even knew each other at all.

But there was one person who interested Donghyuck a lot. He was around more often than the others and spent more time there than the rest. Sometimes Donghyuck spotted him when he was out on his morning runs, letting his eyes follow the boy before he pulled them away, face flushing in embarrassment when he realized what he was doing.

But the apartment is empty this morning, the lights off and the sliding door leading to the balcony shut — like no one had been there in a while. The observation makes Donghyuck drop his head in embarrassment.

He wasn’t a stalker. He was just curious, and the people living in that apartment interested him a lot. It was something different for him to pay attention to — the fact that every day there could be someone new there, or maybe no one at all. The uncertainty excited him and it was one of the only things that brought a little spark of happiness to his days.

✦

**Jaehyun**  
_I might be home a little late today_  
_Sorry_  
_I love u_

Donghyuck lets out a scoff, staring at the ingredients he has laid out for the dinner he was planning to cook for him and Jaehyun. _At least he didn’t start yet, he would’ve cried if he wasted all his time for nothing._

He lets out a breath and decides to just order fast food for dinner that night, then he walks towards the balcony.

The night is colder than usual — the wind blowing against his face a lot stronger and he has to pull his legs up to his chest the moment he sits down on the chair they had outside, balling up his hands into little fists and shoving them into his pockets.

His eyes travel across the balconies surrounding him, some of them with people on them — looking almost similar to him, maybe feeling just a little too suffocated inside their own apartments.

His eyes move towards the balcony he checks every day. The lights are on.

He sits up straighter in his seat, trying desperately to see which boy was in the apartment today, or if it’s just some random cleaning lady who he didn’t know and was there to fix up the apartment, or if there was no one — and the last person to stay there just forgot to turn the light off.

He sighs. Is this really what Donghyuck’s life has come to? Sitting out on his balcony waiting for his boyfriend to come home as he stares at other people’s apartments. He sounds like a fucking creep.

When the wind calms down a little bit and standing up is a little more bearable, he finds himself leaning against the railing, just staring down at the people walking on the sidewalks below him, the few children running around and screaming down there.

He smiles, his mind drifting off to some imaginary future where he and Jaehyun have their own house, little kids running around and laughing, images of him and Jaehyun in the kitchen of their future home appear in his head. For a moment, he finds himself enjoying the imaginary future.

His eyes open, and they immediately meet the all too familiar car parked in the farthest parking space of their parking lot. He knows that car, it’s his and Jaehyun’s — the one they saved up for the previous year when Jaehyun first started his current job and realized that it might be embarrassing to take taxis to work everyday.

 _Why was the car even here?_ Jaehyun had said he was getting home late today, and he had been the one with the car. 

It doesn’t exactly make sense, but Donghyuck pushes the thought to the back of his mind. He was probably reading into it more than necessary, and mentioning it to Jaehyun would just cause an unnecessary fight.

Instead he finds himself knocking on his neighbor’s door, craving a little company. He’s been lonely the entire week, and not even his parents are replying to his texts. One more second alone in the apartment would make him go insane.

He stands outside Jungwoo’s door, fist hanging by his side, ready to knock on the door again. Jungwoo doesn’t open the door though, and Donghyuck is about to walk away in defeat _._

The sound of shuffling and soft mumbling brings him out of his trance. He lets his lips pull up in a smile as he waits for Jungwoo to open the door and invite him inside like he usually does.

“Hi,” Jungwoo says, opening the door just a bit to stick his head out, not letting Donghyuck see into his apartment at all.

Donghyuck gets the feeling that he isn’t wanted, which only brings a sinking feeling to his stomach. “Hey Jungwoo,” he smiles. “Can I come in?”

Jungwoo’s eyes drop down to the ground, losing eye contact with Donghyuck as a guilty look appears on his face. “I’m sorry, I have uh — company… tonight.”

Donghyuck’s eyes widen in realization as he takes in the flushed look on his neighbor’s face and the fact that Jungwoo’s hair is a lot messier than normal. He lets out a soft chuckle when it dawns on him that he just interrupted something.

“Fuck,” he giggles. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave you to it, then.”

He drags his feet back to his apartment, smiling at how awkward it must've been for Jungwoo and whoever he was in there with to pause what they were doing just because Donghyuck was at the door.

It really isn’t his place, but Donghyuck finds himself wondering who Jungwoo was with in the other apartment. The darkness of his own apartment gives him lots to think about as he waits for Jaehyun to come home. 

Jungwoo has never mentioned a boyfriend, or anything remotely close to it. He had never seemed like the type of guy to sleep around with people either and Donghyuck is just a little too nosy to stop thinking about who exactly Jungwoo could’ve been with.

His eyes catch a figure standing on the balcony of the apartment that he stares at from behind the curtain. 

It’s too dark for him to figure out who exactly is standing there, but just the thought of someone being in that apartment makes him smile. 

He had never talked to the owners, but the thought of one of the four boys being there excited him.

He rolls over, grabbing one of Jaehyun’s pillows and stuffing it under his chin, inhaling the smell of his boyfriend as a small smile creeps up onto his face.

 _I miss you,_ he thinks as he breathes in Jaehyun’s scent. They haven’t been spending much time with each other recently. It was starting to make Donghyuck a bit anxious, but he understood that Jaehyun had work and that was important to Donghyuck, too. He would never take Jaehyun away from doing what he was supposed to.

✦

The sound of water running wakes Donghyuck in the morning.

Jaehyun is in the shower, he can tell that much. His work clothes are thrown messily on the floor and his humming can be heard through the door.

Donghyuck doesn’t know what time Jaehyun had come home last night and why he’s awake so early. It’s barely past 7 on a Saturday and Jaehyun is already up and taking a shower. He couldn’t be busy today, it was a _Saturday._

He remembers the weekends in the past when he and Jaehyun would go out on dates, just to the movies or a walk in the park, they were easily the highlights of his week.

Jaehyun walks into the room then, the heat from inside the bathroom instantly meets Donghyuck’s face as he rolls over on his stomach to stare at his boyfriend.

“Hey,” he mumbles sleepily. “What time did you get home last night?”

Jaehyun chuckles, moving towards him to ruffle Donghyuck’s already messy hair. “Late. Busy day at work and then the car broke down somewhere on the way home so it took me a while.”

His eyebrows furrow when he thinks of how he definitely saw the car parked downstairs last night before he went to talk to Jungwoo. 

_Was Jaehyun lying to him?_ He didn’t even want to entertain the thought — they never lied to each other, or at least Donghyuck hasn’t. He breathes out a frustrated sigh and maneuvers his way past his boyfriend.

“I’m gonna go for a run,” he says when Jaehyun notices how he’s avoiding eye contact. He shakes his head just a bit, hoping it will somehow make the thoughts that are pushing past his walls leave.

“Okay,” Jaehyun hums, gently wrapping his arms around Donghyuck and pressing a soft kiss to the back of his head, leaving his head there for a bit to inhale the smell of Donghyuck’s hair. “I have some work stuff to do anyway. Text me when you’re on your way back.”

Donghyuck closes his eyes and forces himself to forget about everything for a few seconds as he leans back into his boyfriend’s chest, relishing in the little comfort it brings him.

“I’m serious,” Jaehyun says, thumb rubbing over Donghyuck’s arm. “Text me.”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck hums in reply, untangling himself from Jaehyun’s arms, and grabbing a pair of socks from the drawer. “I will.”

He’s crouched over by the front of their building, tying his shoelaces one last time so he’ll be able to run without any distractions. He really just wants to go on a run to clear his head, maybe convince himself that nothing was wrong with Jaehyun that he had to lie to Donghyuck like that — because he knows what he saw last night, he knows the car was back home way before Jaehyun was.

They’ve been together for two years, if there was something Jaehyun wanted to tell him and wasn’t comfortable yet — he’d understand. Jaehyun’s comfort was more important to him than his own insecurities.

Donghyuck raises his eyebrows in surprise and releases a frustrated sigh when a pair of running shoes stop in front of him. They were dirty and he couldn’t tell if the brown stuff on the laces was mud or not.

He slowly raises his head, squinting when his eyes connect with not a person, but the shape of the person’s head as the sun shines in his eyes. 

Donghyuck stands up slowly, blinking a little bit faster to let the spots in his eyes clear before he looks at the person in front of him — and when he does, he can’t help but let out a quiet gasp.

Standing before him is one of the boys who lives in the apartment he always finds himself watching. But the boy in front of him right now is also the boy who has always interested Donghyuck the most, the one who was around more often than the rest.

He stays still, frozen in place as he waits for the stranger before him to say something — he’s just staring at Donghyuck, eyes traveling all over his face with an almost confused expression.

“Hi,” the boy says, his hand rubbing his wrist and his eyes flickering in all directions, it makes Donghyuck a bit uncomfortable.

Donghyuck nods, waiting for the boy to continue speaking. He doesn’t want to ruin anything by opening his mouth and making the situation any more awkward than it already is.

“I’m Mark,” he pauses, somehow making Donghyuck wonder if there was anything wrong with how he looks because the boy seems to be pausing every few seconds only for his eyes to roam all over Donghyuck’s face.

Donghyuck nods again, kind of over the awkwardness of the situation. He gives Mark a small smile and goes to turn around to begin his morning run.

“Wait—” Mark holds a hand out before stuffing it in the pocket of his shorts. He chews on his bottom lip nervously, eyebrows furrowing with each second that passes before he smiles.

“I— uh, just noticed that you tend to go on runs a lot… morning runs, I mean. And so do I,” he chuckles. “Just wondering if you’d like to go together…”

Mark trails off, staring at Donghyuck with a shy smile on his face — it almost makes him laugh.

“Sure… I guess,” Donghyuck’s eyebrows furrow. “But I’m in a hurry today and I might be going a bit fast.”

Mark nods, bringing his lips inside his mouth as he nods at everything Donghyuck says. “No, it’s fine. I can keep up.”

Donghyuck breathes out a quiet laugh before he turns around to start running, not really knowing how exactly to tell Mark he was willing to start with his morning run already.

He starts jogging, not really knowing if Mark could actually keep up — he’s been going on runs for so long he was faster than the average person and he didn’t want to make Mark uncomfortable by leaving him behind.

But only a few minutes down their route, Donghyuck realizes _he_ was the one trying harder to catch up, pushing his legs forward to move faster than the boy a few feet before him and maybe try to overtake him.

He focuses on his own feet, pushing them in front of one another as they continue down the straight road. They were running past so many people and cars it was exhilarating, the cold wind blowing on his face as he tried catching up with the boy who is always a few feet before him.

The challenge makes him grin — pushing all his worries out of his mind for a while as he focuses on pushing his feet in front of one another.

They pause by a convenience store after almost twenty minutes of nonstop running. They ran pretty fast and for so long that Donghyuck isn't very sure they are still even near his apartment. 

Mark grabs two bottles of water from the freezer towards the back, not even looking back at Donghyuck who stops the freezer from closing at the last second and grabs his own two bottles of water.

They wait in line in silence, both boys just standing beside each other with their eyes staring anywhere but at the boy beside them.

“Hey,” Mark frowns at the bottles of water in Donghyuck’s hands when he finally pushes himself to look at Donghyuck. “This was for you,” he pouts, lifting one of the bottles in his hands to show him.

Donghyuck’s eyes widen and he presses his lips together when he understands what Mark means. He shakes his head almost frantically, pressing his lips into a thin line with embarrassment.

“You don’t have to,” he chuckles awkwardly, locking his eyes on something behind the boy in front of him so he didn’t have to deal with any more awkwardness.

“No it’s fine,” Mark mumbles, reaching his hand out for the two other bottles in Donghyuck’s hands. “I’ll pay.”

Donghyuck only looks at him, lips parted and eyes wide with surprise, not finding it in himself to even reply properly as Mark slowly pulls the bottles away from his hands and cradles them in his arms — trying his best to hold all four bottles as he grabs his wallet from his back pocket.

They chug down their water outside the convenience store, throwing the bottles away before getting ready to run back to their apartments.

“Is my pacing okay with you?” Mark asks, looking up at Donghyuck from where he’s crouching down on the ground tying his shoelaces.

Donghyuck nods, a small smile on his face as he stretches his arms and legs, mentally and physically preparing himself for how fast they could be going this time.

“Are you sure?” Mark asks. “I can slow down if you want.”

Donghyuck smiles. “No, I like the challenge.”

Mark looks down, shaking his head side to side as his shoulders shake with laughter. “Let’s go then.”

They run back in silence, similar to earlier. No words are exchanged between the two of them as they run through the same route they took earlier.

This time, Donghyuck notices he isn’t very far behind Mark — not as much as he was earlier. They’re almost side by side this time and he can’t figure out if it is because Mark is slowing down or if Donghyuck has somehow gotten faster.

They make it back to their apartment complex earlier than they both thought they’d get back. Both boys are leaning against the wall of one of the brown buildings, catching their breath and wiping the sweat off their faces and neck.

Only when they’ve both caught their breath does Donghyuck realize he doesn’t know exactly how to say goodbye to Mark. 

Is he just supposed to go ‘okay bye’ and turn around? Does Mark want to talk more? This whole encounter between the two of them was a whole new level of awkwardness, Donghyuck couldn’t help but want to giggle..

“Is that… something you’d want to do again?” Mark asks, biting the inside of his lip as he raises his eyes just a bit to look at Donghyuck.

He chuckles in reply, his head hanging low and his eyes following the drop of sweat that hits the concrete below him. 

“It sounds so sexual,” he says, giggling.

Donghyuck doesn’t catch Mark’s reaction, looking up just in time to see him reach up to hold the back of his neck as his eyes squint at Donghyuck, eyes trailing all over his face with wonder. 

“It did, didn’t it,” he chuckles a bit, playing along and trying to slowly move the awkwardness aside. “But it was a serious question.”

Donghyuck looks up to make eye contact, wanting to know what exactly was going through Mark’s head. “Aren’t you… not here all the time though?”

Mark’s eyebrows raise — seeming unsurprised that his absence was something Donghyuck noticed, it was as if he was _expecting_ the reply. 

“Jaemin was right,” Mark mumbles to himself, quiet enough Donghyuck would’ve missed it if he wasn’t paying enough attention. 

“I’m here every so often, and you go on runs a lot, right?” Mark replies, eyebrows raising just a bit — playfully, of course, it made Donghyuck smile.

Donghyuck nods. “Not everyday… just to clear my mind when I need to.”

Mark smiles. “I can leave my number with you,” he suggests. “So we can… you know, talk… if you wanna go for a run again.”

Donghyuck nods, already reaching into his pocket for his phone.

They exchange numbers and say goodbye to each other before they head back up to their own apartments. Mark stays behind for just a few minutes as his eyes curiously follow Donghyuck’s figure until he disappears into his building. 

Donghyuck thinks about everything that happened in the last hour — from Jaehyun _maybe_ lying to him, how someone finally joined him on one of his runs, and how he enjoyed it.

Donghyuck never did think of inviting anyone to go on runs with him, especially Jaehyun. It seemed like Donghyuck went on runs to _avoid_ him, so the thought of inviting him never came to mind. 

He had also never thought of asking Jungwoo to come along. They were friends and Donghyuck loved spending time with him, but a small voice at the back of his head was telling him he wouldn’t enjoy his runs if Jungwoo ever came along.

He makes his way up to their apartment, swinging his arms beside him as he hums along to a song playing in his head. He passes by a few people on the way back to his place, smiling at them as they pass each other.

The apartment is empty when Donghyuck enters — again. His eyebrows furrow, Jaehyun was supposed to be doing ‘work stuff’ like he said, why wasn’t he home?

His eyes widen in realization when he remembers that he was meant to text Jaehyun when he was on his way back. _What if he went out for some groceries or something?_ Donghyuck sends him a text, telling his boyfriend he was back home and asking him where he was, before hopping in the shower.

The hot water hits his back, relaxing his muscles as he rubs shampoo through his air. His mind wanders to different things, mainly thoughts about Mark — one of the boys he’s been curious about for so long. 

Meeting one of them was kind of surreal — until now, it seemed to Donghyuck like they were just a figment of his imagination. Like one of the things that showed he was going insane from how much time he spent alone in their apartment.

He rubs his hair with a towel after his shower, his eyes unconsciously catching his reflection in the mirror beside him. His eyes were dropping down a bit, if that was even possible, and there were dark circles growing around them as well. Small pimples were developing all over his face and his lips were tilted down so low he’s sure it’s a sign of unhappiness.

But he shoves the thought away, reminding himself once again of how happy he is with where he is in life now — in his last year of school, living with his boyfriend who he loves, and with a good paying job. He doesn’t have anything to be unhappy over, he’s fine.

When he exits the shower, Jaehyun is laying on their bed — looking as if he’s been there the whole time. He is typing away on his phone, holding it so close to his face that it seems like he doesn’t want anyone else to see what he is doing. Donghyuck smiles at him, walking through the room with his towel hanging low around his waist as he heads toward his drawers.

He grabs a random shirt from inside and some sweatpants, putting them on quickly as he watches Jaehyun text someone, letting out a few chuckles every so often.

“Work stuff?” Donghyuck asks when Jaehyun laughs over something he’s looking at. The sound of his laugh, deep and hearty and full of absolute joy, putting a grin on Donghyuck’s face.

Jaehyun hums before looking up at his boyfriend, putting his phone away when Donghyuck climbs into bed and snuggles into his side.

They lay in silence for a while, the only sound was the wind from out on the balcony as Jaehyun’s hand runs through Donghyuck’s wet hair, leaving water droplets all over their pillows.

“Hey,” Jaehyun mumbles right as Donghyuck is drifting off to sleep. “About my birthday…”

Jaehyun’s birthday was coming up in two weeks, and it was something Donghyuck was very excited about. He was planning on throwing a surprise party here in their apartment; maybe inviting all of their friends, Jaehyun’s officemates, and Jungwoo — it would be a small gathering and he hoped Jaehyun would enjoy it.

Donghyuck hums in reply.

“I kind of have to be out of town the weekend of my birthday.”

Donghyuck’s eyebrows furrow, the statement waking him up almost completely. “Do you really have to be?” he asks, letting his bottom lip stick out in a pout.

Jaehyun nods. “Yeah, something a few hours away from here, and they need me there.”

Donghyuck breathes out a sigh of defeat, his mind trying to work out the dates so he could still host the surprise party for his boyfriend.

“Just the weekend? You’ll be back after that?”

Jaehyun hums in reply. “I’ll text you if anything changes.”

✦

Jaehyun’s birthday approaches faster. He spends more time at home, as if he was really guilty that he wouldn’t be here for his birthday.

Donghyuck has been going on his early morning runs, leaving before Jaehyun woke up and coming back after Jaehyun had left. 

It isn’t that he has any bad feelings towards his boyfriend, but the sight of him made Donghyuck a little sad and he needed a bit of space to himself, and that came in the form of his morning runs.

Mark hasn’t been around since the last time Donghyuck saw him. It’s been almost a week and he still finds himself staring up at Mark’s apartment like before, but when he saw that the last boy that was there wasn’t the one he was looking for, he sighed and continued on with his day.

Donghyuck is at work now, a children’s day camp — he was usually in charge of the little kids, running around after them and playing with them when they wanted him to. Donghyuck was usually exhausted by the time he got back from work, falling down flat on his face when he got back home.

Jaehyun used to rub up and down his back when Donghyuck came back from work, no words exchanged but sometimes he’d hum a song while doing so. 

Jaehyun hadn’t even been home the last few times Donghyuck came home from work. He’d enter the apartment with a smile on his face hoping he would find his boyfriend waiting for him, but it hasn’t happened recently. 

It wasn’t a big deal anyway — Donghyuck worked three days out of seven in a week and he understood Jaehyun was busy everyday so he didn’t really mind as much, but it still hurt that things weren’t the same as before.

“Hyuckie,” one of the kids whines, holding up the paper she’d been working on since Donghyuck started his shift.

“Hi,” Donghyuck smiles down at her, leaning forward on the chair he was sitting on to look at what she’s been up to with the many crayons scattered over the table.

The little girl before him is an adorable four year old named Jinah who enjoys running around and being carried by Donghyuck as much as she could. She was here almost everyday and Donghyuck was starting to wonder what exactly was so important that her parents decided leaving her here all day was a good idea.

But four year olds saw the good in almost anything, and Jinah always made the most of her time at the day camp — befriending everyone who worked there and trying to make all the other kids her age feel welcome.

When she first spotted Donghyuck, it was like a lightbulb went off in both their heads and they _knew_ there was something special about what their friendship could become. 

Jinah knew when Donghyuck would be working and she’d always prepare a little gift for him — even if it was just a little flower she pulled on the way here. 

There is a large circle in the middle of the paper and it almost looks like the drawing could be a face but Donghyuck doesn’t say anything — not wanting to hurt Jinah’s feelings in case it _wasn’t_ what he thought it was. 

“What is it?” he asks, leaning over to pick her up and sit her down in his lap.

“I drew you,” she giggles, shoving her paper in Donghyuck’s face. Her laughter is contagious, her smile so wide you’d think she discovered something amazing. 

“Really?” he asks, taking a closer look at the paper hanging way too close to his face.

“Mhm,” she says excitedly. “Because you’ve been looking like this every day,” Jinah furrows her eyebrows so much that it’s adorable how she looks.

“Why are you sad?” she asks with a pout, reaching out a hand to hold Donghyuck’s, making his heart swell for the little girl.

“Don’t worry about it, Jinah,” he mumbles, pulling the little girl close to his chest and leaning his chin on top of her head.

A few hours later, once all the kids have been picked up and Donghyuck is done for the day, he takes out his phone — scrolling through all the notifications he got during his shift. 

**Mark**  
_Hey, I’ll be back on the 14th_  
_Down for a run?_

Donghyuck finds himself smiling, replying almost instantly that he would enjoy a run on that day. It was the day Jaehyun was leaving, on his birthday, and Donghyuck really didn’t think he wanted to be home that day — another reminder that he had no else to spend special days with.

To top it off, when Donghyuck asked Jungwoo a few days ago if he would be around on the weekend of the 14th, he told Donghyuck he had a family emergency and he was leaving a few days before — which only made Donghyuck feel worse about not having anyone to be with.

He didn’t really have many friends, he had his college classmates, groupmates for different projects he had, but he wouldn’t really consider any of them _friends_ — not really people he’d ask to spend time with him, so Mark texting him about spending time together is easily one of the highlights of Donghyuck’s week.

He replies to Jaehyun’s text next — just his boyfriend saying he was going to be spending time with Jungwoo today so if Donghyuck needed him he’d be next door, which Donghyuck just replied a short ‘Ok.’ to.

He walks out of the building, bag in his hand as he prepares himself to walk all the way back to the apartment. They had a car, of course — a shared one, but he knew Jaehyun needed it more and all the places he needed to be were of walking distance anyway, so not having a car didn’t really matter to him.

But it is times like this when he really wishes he’d asked Jaehyun for the car in the morning — days he’s feeling a bit empty and can’t even hold himself up for a few minutes. His apartment is just a few blocks away, but he isn’t sure if he can make it without stopping at a cafe or a convenience store to rest first.

He makes it two or three blocks before he decides he can’t hold himself up anymore and just leans against a wall. He sinks down to a crouch, just holding his head in his hands as he felt his feet throb and his calves burn.

He breathes out a few frustrated breaths, wondering why he thought it was a good idea to even go to work today if he knew he was in this much pain. He has been overworking himself recently — with school, work, and even just exercising in general.

“Hey,” a voice calls out and Donghyuck’s head instinctively lifts, eyes searching for the speaker. “Do you need a ride?” 

When Donghyuck’s head turns, he spots Mark, sitting in the car parked right in front of him — it’s almost laughable how he didn’t notice it. Mark’s window is rolled down and he’s leaning on the edge of it, eyes staring curiously at where Donghyuck is crouched against the wall.

He nods in reply, his teeth chewing on the inside of his bottom lip as he pushes himself off the ground, standing up so fast he almost stumbles back and his vision goes blurry, but he catches himself — hand holding itself out behind him so he doesn’t slam into the wall.

He walks around Mark’s car, dragging his feet below him just a few steps so he’s standing by the passenger’s door.

“Here,” Mark mumbles, reaching over and opening the door for Donghyuck. “You okay?” he asks once the boy is inside, waiting for Donghyuck to put his seatbelt on before he starts driving.

Donghyuck only hums in reply, not wanting to even open his mouth to reply as he leans his head against the window, feeling the cool glass against his forehead. It’s a bit uncomfortable but he no longer has the strength to move.

“Are you sure you can get up safely?” Mark asks once the car is parked in the parking lot of their apartment complex. He parked the car nearer to Donghyuck’s building so the boy didn’t have to walk farther than necessary.

Donghyuck hums, pushing himself out of the car too fast and his head feels dizzy again once he’s standing outside, the fresh air not helping the pain he feels at the back of his head.

“I’ll be fine,” he says, giving Mark a smile. “Thank you.”

Mark mumbles out a quiet ‘Anytime’ he doubts Donghyuck even hears, before the boy drags himself towards the entrance of his building.

Mark stands by his car, eyes worriedly following Donghyuck’s figure as he enters the building and makes his way for the stairs — only causing Mark to roll his eyes in disbelief. 

_His head hurts and he can barely hold himself up and he_ still _decides to take the stairs._

He rushes after Donghyuck, slipping past the automatic door with someone who enters the same time he does, he immediately runs towards the stairwell Donghyuck disappeared into.

He finds him there — not even halfway up the first flight with his hand supporting his head as he leans against the wall and an annoyed look on his face.

He lifts his eyebrows at Mark when he sees him standing before him. He doesn’t even have the energy to open his mouth and hopes that Mark understands the silent question he’s asking.

“Your head hurts and you can barely walk and you think it’s a good idea to take the stairs?” Mark asks him, a small smile playing on his face as he takes in how _tired_ Donghyuck really looks.

He shakes his head and gently grabs the boy's arm, draping it over his shoulder as they slowly descend the stairs — at a very slow pace but one that Donghyuck is comfortable with.

Mark leaves him inside the elevator, pressing the button for the fifth floor after asking Donghyuck which floor he lives on before he exits, hoping that he makes it to his apartment safely.

“Take care of yourself,” Mark chuckles as the elevator doors close, watching as a dizzy Donghyuck nods his head back at him with a small smile on his face as a silent ‘thank you’.


	2. mark was right, you are an asshole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi :] it's been almost a month since the first chapter but school started recently so i've been busy :(
> 
> not much tws for this chapter , only infidelity but we kinda knew that from the start
> 
> enjooooy! <3 comment & kudos if u want to and/or hmu on twitter :]

“Hey,” Jaehyun mumbles, sliding behind Donghyuck on the chair they have outside on the balcony.

It’s the night before Jaehyun leaves for his business trip and the night before his birthday. They’ve both noticed Jaehyun’s been trying to shower Donghyuck with attention these last few days, and if he thinks about it, it’s strange. Jaehyun was home when Donghyuck came back from work today, which was a bit of a shock to him, but Donghyuck has never really been strong, especially when it comes to his boyfriend and within a few minutes they found themselves cuddling on the couch again just like before.

Donghyuck hums in reply, tilting his head back so he’s leaning against Jaehyun’s chest. His boyfriend’s arms wrap around his waist, the pads of his fingers softly touching the skin of his stomach.

Donghyuck smiles, lips curling up ever so slightly when Jaehyun’s fingers stop tracing over his skin — leaving the two of them to sit in silence. It isn’t awkward silence or the type of silence that usually makes Donghyuck uncomfortable, it’s the type of silence that just makes him _feel_. He feels the love he has for his boyfriend in his body, the feeling coursing all over his body he can’t even figure out where it’s coming from, but it’s overpowering, and it pushes back all other thoughts.

His eyes open a few seconds later and he immediately finds himself looking at the balcony across the one from his.

“What’s up?” Jaehyun’s voice breaks the silence. 

“Nothing,” Donghyuck replies, shifting in his seat so he’s facing his boyfriend. He lifts his hand to cup Jaehyun’s cheek, letting his thumb move back and forth. This action always used to make Jaehyun relax but the lack of change in his expression is making Donghyuck regret even trying to do anything.

“Someone’s watching us,” Jaehyun says in reply to Donghyuck’s gesture, he pushes Donghyuck away from him and nods his head in the direction he recognizes immediately. Donghyuck feels his heart clenching from the rejection as he brings his hand back inside the pocket of his hoodie. 

When he glances in the direction Jaehyun is staring at, he doesn't expect to lock eyes with Mark — but there he is, watching Jaehyun and Donghyuck from the opposite side of the courtyard.

Donghyuck hasn’t seen Mark in a little over a week, he left his apartment after he brought Donghyuck home from work that one day. Donghyuck has been meaning to send him a text asking if the run they scheduled for tomorrow is still on, but he hasn’t gotten around to doing it. Something about the way Mark is looking down at their balcony is sending chills through Donghyuck’s body. 

“Who is that?”

Donghyuck gulps, not taking his eyes off Mark, who’s leaning against the railing of his balcony, his eyes unmoving from how Jaehyun’s arms are wrapped around Donghyuck’s waist.

Mark’s eyes shift, and he isn't looking at Donghyuck anymore. He’s staring at Jaehyun. 

His boyfriend’s hands unwrap from around Donghyuck’s waist, as if the thought of being in so much contact with his boyfriend isn’t something he wants.

Mark’s eyes shift once again, this time staring Donghyuck dead in the eyes. As much as Donghyuck tries to ignore it, he feels chills creeping up his spine the moment their eyes meet.

Mark looks away a few seconds later, curiously eyeing Donghyuck and Jaehyun. 

Donghyuck isn’t sure if Jaehyun will be angry over this whole encounter. Their whole relationship, Jaehyun hasn’t shown many signs of being a jealous boyfriend -- Donghyuck never really gave him any reason to be jealous, so he isn’t sure if this is something Jaehyun would get angry over.

Mark is still out on his balcony, typing away on his phone in exactly the same position he was in a few minutes ago — not looking like he’s going to move anytime soon. Jaehyun tears his eyes away from his balcony and turns to look at Donghyuck.

“Do you know who that is?” his voice is hard, as if he already knows the answer. 

It’s stupid of Donghyuck to wish this whole encounter gives Mark plus points in Jaehyun’s eyes. Mark has been the only person Donghyuck has been able to call his friend aside from Jungwoo and he doesn’t want to lose that.

“I met him a few days ago,” Donghyuck replies, voice so quiet it’s obvious he doesn’t want Jaehyun to hear him clearly..

“You _what_?” Jaehyun asks, his voice almost accusatory.

“Nothing, Jae. It’s not a big deal,” Donghyuck pushes himself up from the chair, shoving Jaehyun’s hands away from touching him. 

“What do you mean ‘I met him a few days ago’?” Jaehyun asks, following Donghyuck back inside the apartment. He slides the door closed behind him and falls down on the bed, never taking his eyes away from Donghyuck who’s angrily staring at a text on his phone.

**_Mark  
_ ** _You okay?_

The text irritates Donghyuck. He feels the annoyance creeping up his spine but he stops himself right as his thumb hovers over the send button. He doesn't feel like getting into an argument with anyone tonight — not Mark and definitely not Jaehyun, so he closes his phone and ignores the way Jaehyun’s eyes follow him as he walks toward the bathroom.

“I’m gonna shower,” Donghyuck says loudly, not bothering to even look back at his boyfriend as he slams the door shut.

He is being a bit irrational, and he knows that if he were in Jaehyun’s position, he would be annoyed with how Donghyuck is reacting now, but he pushes the thought aside. He has the right to feel angry too, and the whole encounter between the three of them; especially Jaehyun and Mark, was pissing him off.

✦

Jaehyun leaves early the next morning.

He didn’t even bother waking Donghyuck up when he was moving around the room, packing the last few things he needed for his trip. He didn’t even greet him good morning when he saw Donghyuck rubbing his eyes because of the bright light shining down right on him.

Donghyuck is standing on the sidewalk of the parking lot, watching Jaehyun as he backs his car out of his parking space. Jaehyun doesn’t look up to smile or even say goodbye -- and Donghyuck understands. They didn’t talk about what happened last night so Jaehyun’s attitude doesn’t surprise him.

He’s not sure if Mark is in his apartment today, or if he left after everything that happened yesterday. He knows he shouldn’t even be thinking of seeing Mark now, especially when Jaehyun is upset with him, but Donghyuck doesn’t like feeling alone in their apartment and he doesn’t have much to do today either.

He wants to take his mind off how Jaehyun was angry with him — even if he knows it’ll blow over as soon as he properly explains himself. That’s all Jaehyun really needs from him, and he’s sure that after he explains everything they’ll be fine again.

They don’t have speakers in the apartment. Jaehyun hates music, especially when it plays out loud, so there wasn’t any way to play music loud enough to distract himself from the silence in the apartment, the loneliness that eats him when he’s sitting quietly in the lonely place.

Instead of walking back to his apartment, Donghyuck finds himself taking a seat on one of the benches lying around the courtyard between his building and the building of Mark’s apartment — hoping that if Mark is still in his apartment this morning, he would be able to confront him and ask what the deal was with yesterday’s encounter.

It’s a cold morning, the wind is blowing against his face and Donghyuck is starting to regret how he just followed Jaehyun downstairs earlier in his pajamas, not even thinking of grabbing a sweater or anything to keep himself warm in this cold weather.

“Coffee?” a mug is being held out in front of Donghyuck. His head tilts up to look at the speaker, even if he knows deep in his heart who exactly it is just by his voice. The fact that Donghyuck can recognize Mark’s voice after only knowing him for a short while scares him, he wouldn’t ever admit it to anyone but the feeling also brings him a weird sense of comfort.

His fingers wrap around the mug, being extra careful not to touch Mark at all. Donghyuck scoots a bit to one end of the bench to let Mark sit down.

“Thank you,” he mumbles, holding the mug close to his mouth, just breathing in the smell and letting the warmth from the mug hit his face.

“I brought you this,” Mark holds out what looks like a cardigan, it’s bunched up into a ball in his hand. “Thought you needed it.”

A small smile unconsciously forms on his face at Mark’s gesture. But then he remembers the whole encounter last night; how Jaehyun hardly held him close in bed and all but pulled away just as Donghyuck fell asleep, how Jaehyun didn’t even say goodbye to Donghyuck that morning before he left. 

He draws his hand back, noticing the visible confusion on Mark’s face as he brings the balled up cardigan back to his side. Donghyuck sniffs, not really able to feel his nose from how cold it is — but it’s a good distraction. He turns his head away from Mark who is staring at him with curious eyes, as if Donghyuck is a puzzle he needs to figure out.

“What was that?”

“The cardigan and the coffee?” Mark’s eyebrows pull together and he pulls his upper lip between his teeth.

“No,” Donghyuck sighs. “Last night. The thing with Jaehyun when we were on our balcony.”

“His name is Jaehyun?”

“What?” Donghyuck lets out a frustrated sigh. How was the name of his boyfriend even relevant in a conversation like this?

“His name,” Mark raises his eyebrows. “Your boyfriend, his name is Jaehyun?”

“ _Yes?_ ”

“And the other one?” Mark asks. “What’s his name?”

Donghyuck’s eyebrows raise. “Other _what_?”

“The other guy,” Mark mumbles, eyebrows furrowing at Donghyuck’s question. “Your other boyfriend?”

Now Donghyuck is getting frustrated — _annoyed_ , even. Mark isn’t making much sense. Donghyuck isn’t cheating on Jaehyun, he never even considered it, and Mark is making him sound like he is and he doesn’t like it at all.

He pushes the mug back into Mark’s hands as he pushes himself off the bench. “I don’t even know why I wanted to talk to you,” he mumbles angrily, walking towards the entrance of his building.

“Wait—” a hand wraps around Donghyuck’s arm, the grip isn’t tight enough to hurt and he doesn’t force Donghyuck to turn around either — he’s just holding his arm, like he’s giving Donghyuck the choice to do what he wants.

Instead of replying, Donghyuck just turns around, not letting his eyes meet Mark’s as his hand rubs around his wrist. The action is enough for Mark to know he’s willing to listen. 

Honestly, Donghyuck just wants to stay out of his apartment for as long as he can, knowing that the moment he steps inside he probably won’t have any human contact until Jaehyun comes home in a few days. His time with Mark — though very frustrating, also keeps him the most sane.

“Can I take you out for breakfast?” Mark mumbles, low enough for Donghyuck to hear.

“I just told you I have a boyfriend—”

“—As friends, Donghyuck,” Mark chuckles, letting his arm drop from the boy’s arm. “As friends, I promise I have no other intentions.”

The gears in Donghyuck’s head turn, and somewhere in his mind he’s weighing the pros and cons of going out with Mark. _What if Jaehyun was still in town and managed to see them? What then?_

“Just breakfast,” Donghyuck frowns at his weak tone. “That’s it.”

Mark nods. “Just breakfast. I’ll let you get dressed upstairs or do whatever you need to do,” he pauses, turning his head to check if other people are in the courtyard with them. “I’ll meet you back here in ten minutes?”

An hour and a half later, they’re a good distance away from their apartments. Mark said he wanted to go to this new breakfast place across town and he wanted to take Donghyuck. He just agreed, not wanting to talk to Mark until he’s completely cooled off.

They take their seats at a table near the entrance. No words are exchanged between the two even when the waiter comes to take their orders.

“Are you even going to apologize?” Donghyuck asks, annoyance lacing each word that leaves his lips.

“For?” Mark asks, leaning back in his chair.

“You’re sounding like an ass right now, you know?” Donghyuck replies, letting the frustration on his face show. Until now he was sure Mark was a good guy, but if he keeps up this whole ‘cheating’ narrative Donghyuck won’t hesitate to just ditch breakfast and spend the rest of his weekend alone.

“You aren’t even explaining to me why you keep getting frustrated,” Mark points out, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

“Because you make me sound like a cheater!” Donghyuck lets out, exasperation evident in his voice as he crosses his arms over his chest. His eyebrows raise when Mark keeps silent, pressing his lips together when Mark’s face contorts into a mix of annoyance and anger as the seconds pass by.

“So,” Mark’s eyes travel all over Donghyuck’s face, chewing on his lip as thoughts run through his mind. “You don’t have another boyfriend? The other guy?”

“I don’t. I’m dating Jaehyun, _only_ Jaehyun.”

Mark clicks his tongue against the roof of his tongue again. The sound annoys Donghyuck, he just wants this conversation to be over and Mark is taking so long coming up with a proper explanation for his weird questions.

“Are you sure your boyfriend, Jaehyun, is the same?”

“ _What?_ ” Donghyuck gasps. _Mark doesn’t even know Jaehyun, who is he to say all this?_

“Like,” Mark’s eyes leave Donghyuck, moving around the restaurant they’re in — looking like he knows exactly what he’s looking for. “That.”

Mark nods his head in some random direction, keeping his eyes locked on whatever he’s looking at.

Donghyuck’s head turns, trying to find what exactly has Mark so worked up. He isn’t really sure what he’s looking for, eyes travelling all over most of the people in the restaurant before they land on someone.

Through all the people in the restaurant and all the loud chatter of the people surrounding them, Donghyuck immediately recognizes Jungwoo — his neighbor and one of his closest friends. He can clearly hear Jungwoo’s laughter, the sound bringing a smile to his face as he thinks about how much happiness his friend deserves.

Donghyuck doesn’t see who Jungwoo is eating with — it completely slips his mind that Jungwoo is still supposed to be out of town, he’s supposed to be gone for a little longer actually. 

“Do you see it?” Mark says, pulling Donghyuck out of his little trance.

He hums, pulling his eyes away from his friend. “Yeah, it’s my friend having a good time. Why does that concern me?”

Mark lets out a frustrated sigh, letting his shoulders drop as his eyes move back and forth between Donghyuck and Jungwoo.

“What, Mark?” Donghyuck almost groans, not really understanding why exactly Mark isn’t just telling him straight up what the problem is.

“Okay,” Mark scoots his chair backwards and stands up. “Switch seats, tell me what you see from here.”

The request is weird, it makes Donghyuck frown. If he was just going to find out who Jungwoo is out with — he isn’t interested, it’s Jungwoo’s business who he spends time with and Donghyuck will find out when Jungwoo feels comfortable telling him. But rejecting Mark will probably ruin whatever friendship they have, so he agrees.

Taking a seat in Mark’s chair, he suddenly has a better view of Jungwoo’s table, and who he is eating lunch with. His eyebrows furrow, because sitting directly in front of Jungwoo, with a huge smile on his face and his eyes twinkling with happiness, completely the opposite of the face that was staring at him only an hour ago, is Jaehyun.

Jaehyun throws his head back with laughter right as Donghyuck sees him. With a little shift of his eyes, Donghyuck can see Jungwoo laughing along with Jaehyun and he breathes out a disappointed sigh.

“At least he’s with a friend,” he shrugs.

“Wait, what?” Mark’s head whips around to face Donghyuck so fast it’s almost comical.

“Yeah… I like seeing them happy,” Donghyuck’s voice is quiet, he doesn’t want to admit seeing Jaehyun laughing hurts him, because he can’t remember the last time he made Jaehyun laugh that hard.

Mark’s eyebrows furrow and his eyes narrow at Donghyuck.

“Okay, please think about the last few things I asked you,” Mark says slowly, as if trying to cushion Donghyuck’s emotions. “Now relate it to the people sitting at that table over there,” he nudges his head in the direction of Jaehyun and Jungwoo who still haven’t noticed that Donghyuck is in the same restaurant as them.

Donghyuck closes his eyes and relaxes his shoulders. He’s happy that Jaehyun has a friend to keep him company when he’s upset but the thought of Jaehyun running to someone else instead of talking to Donghyuck when they have problems hurts. He puts a smile on his face and tries thinking about what Mark said, what exactly Mark could mean.

He mentioned something earlier about having another boyfriend and something else about how Jaehyun _could_ have another boyfriend… but as the dots connect in his head, he can’t help but scoff.

Jungwoo is their neighbor, he’s their friend, the boy who lets both Jaehyun and Donghyuck spend time in his apartment when he’s feeling lonely. The mere _thought_ of Jungwoo being with Jaehyun the way Donghyuck is, is quite funny. The thought is so far fetched that there is no way it can possibly be true.

“Nope,” he says with too much confidence. “No.”

Mark raises his eyebrows, taking a sip from his glass of water. “I’m sorry.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “There is no way that what you’re saying is right, Mark. Jaehyun is _my_ boyfriend, not Jungwoo’s. You’re probably just mistaken.”

As gentle as he can possibly be, Mark leans forward in his chair and reaches out for Donghyuck’s hand, allowing his thumb to rub over it comfortingly. “It might be a lot to take in—”

“—It’s not a _lot_. It isn’t true, not at all. Stop making it sound like it is.”

“Donghyuck,” Mark says calmly. “Please listen to me, you can ask them about it… I am not entirely sure myself, I just know enough from the things I see but it could all just be a misunderstanding and you _can_ talk to them. Please talk to them.”

But Donghyuck isn’t listening. His eyes are closed as he takes in all the information Mark is throwing at him. ‘ _Things he sees’? What exactly is he seeing?_

He feels all his insecurities rushing forward. As much as he doesn’t want to make any assumptions before he talks to his boyfriend — he can’t help but think about how it makes sense, all the questions he has about Jaehyun and their relationship, all suddenly answered by just a few sentences from Mark.

“I don’t think I want to be here anymore, Mark,” Donghyuck mumbles, letting his head drop in his hands as the thoughts bombard his mind — they aren’t very nice thoughts, some of them are bad enough he doesn’t even want to acknowledge that they are in his mind.

Mark understands, pushing himself out of his chair and making his way to the counter to pay. He only gives Donghyuck a sad smile — like he wants to be there for him but also doesn’t know exactly how to help.

He’s careful around Donghyuck, and Donghyuck is thankful for that. He likes how Mark isn’t forcing him to talk, just listening to Donghyuck whenever he decides to open his mouth. It’s a bit refreshing, not having to open up all the time — Jaehyun makes him open up a lot, insisting that talking about his problems will make him feel better. It’s one of the reasons Donghyuck started running again, both to get away from his problems and from talking about them.

Mark asks him if he wants to go back to their apartment, and Donghyuck shakes his head no, looking up at Mark with eyes pooling up with tears, he almost has an urge to pull the boy in for a hug. But they hardly know each other and they could hardly be considered friends, so he doesn’t.

He drives them somewhere, an empty meadow about an hour away from where they were. The car ride is silent, with the occasional sniffs from Donghyuck that make Mark want to tell him it’s okay to be vulnerable, he doesn't have to keep his sniffs and sobs quiet, no one should ever have to be sad alone, everyone deserves a friend.

He lets Donghyuck walk out in the field alone, giving the boy some space — to cry, to scream, or to just sit down and stare at the sky. Mark stays in the car, letting the soft music from the radio play softly as he keeps half his attention on Donghyuck, just to make sure he’s safe.

They stay in the field for a few hours, time passing by so quickly they don’t even realize how long they’ve been out until it gets too hot. Donghyuck walks to the car slowly, taking his time — hoping that the longer he makes Mark wait, the faster he’ll forget about what he just revealed to Donghyuck and how it’s quietly destroying him.

Donghyuck had some time to think about everything he just realized, as he sat on the grass only a few minutes ago, eyes moving around to look at the trees surrounding him, the grass under him, even the clouds slowly moving around above him.

He wants to believe Mark, his new friend who has shown Donghyuck kindness even when he was being rude — who took it upon himself to tell Donghyuck about what he _thought_ was happening with his boyfriend. Donghyuck wants to hug Mark, for being so nice to him even when he didn’t deserve it.

Donghyuck doesn’t think he deserves happiness — or at least the happiness he’s been receiving recently. He isn’t very special, he doesn’t excel at school or sports, he’s barely getting by with an average paying job, and he doesn’t have any siblings or many friends to compare himself to. He just doesn’t think he deserves happiness for being ordinary.

He opens the car door with a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the short speech he was planning in his head for Mark. He is going to thank the boy for everything he told Donghyuck, but until Donghyuck sees it with his own two eyes or hears it both from Jaehyun and Jungwoo, he doesn’t want to believe anything.

He is being irrational, anyone can tell that he’s being naive but if Donghyuck is being honest, he just doesn’t want to accept the fact that everything Mark said could be true. He’s thinking of what will happen to him if he decides to face his problem — where would he go? He doesn’t know what he’ll do if he decides to leave Jaehyun now, he doesn’t want to make any decisions while he’s upset.

The only solution to his problem, Donghyuck thinks, is to avoid it — pretend it doesn’t exist — because maybe if he ignores it for long enough, it will cease to be true. Maybe if he ignores it for long enough, Jaehyun will stop seeing Jungwoo and come back home to him.

He tells Mark everything he’s thinking when they’re alone in the car. Letting all his secrets and insecurities come out when he sees the calm and inviting look on Mark’s face.

There’s something about Mark that comforts Donghyuck, and he finds it stupid — because Mark is a stranger, and sometimes he finds himself more excited to talk to him than he is to see Jaehyun. Donghyuck thinks it could be because of his lack of experience in the friend department, how he doesn’t really have a lot of people to talk to or open up to. He only really has Jaehyun, and sometimes sharing things with him makes Donghyuck a bit anxious, and then he has Jungwoo, who he considered his closest friend, but even the possibility of Jaehyun cheating with Jungwoo turns Donghyuck off and he doesn’t think he even wants anything to do with Jungwoo, at least for a while.

It takes him a while to get everything off his chest, to tell Mark exactly everything going on in his relationship — and it’s refreshing, but at the same time also scary. With every word he lets out he sees the frown on Mark’s face deepen and his eyes flashing with what looks like anger.

He doesn’t mean to make anyone angry or upset, so instead he stops talking after one particularly upsetting story, hoping Mark doesn’t notice or say anything, maybe even start the car again and bring them back home for Donghyuck to think on his own the whole weekend.

“Why’d you stop?” Mark turns his head to look at Donghyuck, his eyes softening into curiosity and _interest_ , as if hearing Donghyuck’s stories is something he enjoys.

“Nothing,” he hums in reply. “I just don’t want to bother you with what I’m saying.”

Mark notices the frown on the boy’s face. “You aren’t bothering me, don’t worry.”

But Donghyuck frowns, head falling down to stare at his hands in his lap — just for him to look at _something_ , so he doesn’t sound insecure or like he needs validation for almost everything he does.

“Hey,” Mark says quietly. “You can always talk to me, I’ll always be here to listen.”

Donghyuck smiles. It’s the only thing he can do in response to what Mark said, because at the boy’s words, a sudden feeling of warmth runs through his body and he can’t help but smile at the feeling and how it washes over him, putting a small smile on his face.

“Thank you,” he hums — and he means it, more than anything he’s said recently. He’s thankful for Mark, and all the little things he’s done for Donghyuck in the little time they’ve known each other, even just sitting in his car under the sun listening to Donghyuck’s problems is a small gesture he is beyond thankful for.

Donghyuck thinks he likes having Mark as a friend.

✦

Donghyuck is sitting down on the chair outside his balcony.

It isn’t dark yet, but he thinks this is the perfect time to sit around and enjoy — when the sun is setting and he sees things in the light for the last time. He loves everything about the sunset, sometimes he catches himself staring out the window of whatever place he’s in to watch as the sun falls behind the mountains, leaving them in the darkness.

Watching the sunset also puts him in a better mood — an observation he noticed a few years ago, he made sure to step outside around the time the sun was scheduled to set every time he knew he would need some patience. He needs it tonight, he knows he does.

Because tonight is the night Jaehyun comes home. From _wherever_ he is.

Donghyuck doesn’t want to sound like he doesn’t trust his boyfriend, but how is he supposed to make sure Jaehyun was actually away for work?

Oddly enough, it isn’t the night Jungwoo comes home. He told himself a few days ago he will give the two boys enough time to explain themselves before he jumps to conclusions, though he hasn’t figured out what exactly he will do once the truth is finally out and he’s forced to leave the apartment.

He doesn’t really understand why he has to be the one to leave, Mark doesn’t either — clearly showing his distaste for the idea when Donghyuck first brought it up.

_“Wait,” Mark paused, eyes wide with surprise and disbelief. “You’re the one always left alone in the apartment, finding the smallest things to do to keep you occupied… and you’re the one leaving?”_

_Donghyuck shrugged the question off. He always found himself adjusting for the people around him, this wasn’t any different, and he’d feel really guilty for throwing Jaehyun out of his own apartment._

_“And he won’t?” Mark almost gasped when Donghyuck told him. “You don’t think he’ll feel guilty about throwing his own boyfriend out?”_

_But the question made him laugh. “Okay, correction,” he mumbled, straightening his back and turning to look at Mark with a small smirk on his face. “I would be his ex-boyfriend by then.”_

_“Wait, why?”_

_“You don't actually think I’m going to stay with him once he tells me the truth?”_

_Mark shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, actually. I hope you don’t, you deserve more than that.”_

He isn’t even sure if Jaehyun was going to come home tonight, all he did was text Donghyuck there could be a chance he is going to be home tonight. As much as Donghyuck didn't want to believe his lies anymore, he still found himself hoping Jaehyun _wasn’t_ lying to him and that he’d be home again tonight.

He looks up, mainly to see if Mark is still in his apartment. He had told Donghyuck he was going to head back to his house again tonight, so even he hoped Jaehyun would be home again tonight, because Mark wanted Donghyuck to confront Jaehyun as soon as he could, and it was mostly Donghyuck hesitating to even entertain the idea.

Donghyuck hated spontaneous decisions, he liked having everything planned out because he didn’t want to ever be stuck in a situation where he didn’t know what to do with himself -- it’s probably one of his worst fears.

For now he’ll just observe both Jaehyun and Jungwoo’s behavior, maybe try to figure things out for himself without having Mark over his shoulder constantly telling Donghyuck to talk to the two already. He knows Mark just wants what’s best for him, because the fact that there could be a chance of Jaehyun cheating and there’s enough evidence for it to be true makes Donghyuck’s heart hurt.

Mark is leaning against his balcony, his position similar to the one from the first night he and Jaehyun saw each other, his eyes are on his phone but he’s in the perfect position so if he looks down he’ll see Donghyuck looking up at him.

Donghyuck’s phone vibrates in his hands and for a second he takes his eyes away from Mark to look down at the notification that just came in. A small part of him hopes it’s Jaehyun saying he’s on the way home, but a bigger part of him hopes it’s Jaehyun saying he _won’t_ be back tonight, just so he can have a reason to be angry, he just wants to feel something -- even if it’s an emotion as ugly as anger.

**_Mark  
_ ** _You’re looking a bit constipated there_

_You okay?_

_Wanna talk to someone?_

Donghyuck chuckles, his almost sour mood disappearing completely at the sight of Mark’s messages.

**_Donghyuck  
_ ** _Just peachy_

_A little scared for… you know_

_I’ll be fine_

Donghyuck sees Mark chuckle from across the courtyard, his head shaking in disbelief before he flashes Donghyuck a small smile. He nudges his head towards the sliding door behind him, silently telling Donghyuck he’s heading inside.

Donghyuck doesn’t reply to Mark anymore, letting his eyes move towards the parking lot, waiting for their car to come into view, maybe he could push all his worries away for one night and just enjoy what could possibly be his last night with his boyfriend.

But Jaehyun doesn’t come home. At least while Donghyuck is still awake and sitting out on his balcony — he refuses to head inside, even when he sees Mark out on his balcony telling Donghyuck it’s time to go to bed and forget about Jaehyun for tonight.

Donghyuck is sitting on their sofa watching some random show on the television. He isn’t paying much attention to what’s playing, mostly paying attention to his phone and any sound that could come from the hallway outside.

He hates the person he’s become, the kind of _boyfriend_ he’s become. He seems like the boyfriend who doesn’t trust his partner anymore, the overprotective one, it isn’t a good look on him and the feeling it’s giving him makes him want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Around three in the morning, shuffling is heard outside Donghyuck’s apartment — the noise is enough to wake him up from his sleep. He’s in a very uncomfortable position right now, his neck is bent at a weird angle, the result of finding a comfortable position on the hard couch.

He isn’t conscious enough to realize who could be outside, nevertheless he’s still able to process that the sound coming from outside could definitely be who he thinks it is, but Donghyuck thinks it’s too early to be stressing over this and if it is who he thinks it is, he can face it in the morning… maybe give the two boys one last time to hurt him. He just doesn’t want to be around when it happens.

He makes his way towards the balcony again, grabbing the blanket off the bed he shares with Jaehyun, he doesn’t want to be on it tonight, not when he knows Jaehyun could be in someone else’s bed. He wraps the blanket around himself and leans his head against the pillow he places behind him. He’ll just have to try and stay as far away from Jungwoo’s apartment as he can.

The night is cold again, not anything out of the normal. No one is outside and the streets are empty, there’s no noise anywhere to distract him. Donghyuck has never hated silence as much as he does now, it’s overwhelming.

The silence gives him time to think — time for all the thoughts to push forward in his head. Silence is dangerous, Donghyuck thinks, but he doesn’t know how he can be able to fall asleep knowing what he knows. He needs a distraction.

This is how Donghyuck finds himself running out of his building and down the road leading him away from his problems. This is something Donghyuck loves doing — running away from his problems, these days he seems to have a lot of those and he feels _trapped_. He wants to run away from everything, just avoid all his problems, leave everything behind until things solve themselves.

No one is around to take him away from focusing on his running. Just him and the sound of his shoes landing on the ground as he zooms past everything surrounding him. He thinks he’s ran farther than he and Mark did a few weeks ago, but no matter how much his calves scream at him to stop — he doesn’t. He wants to run far, to get as far away from everything as he can. He just wants to leave everything behind.

✦

Jaehyun is home tonight.

He’s sitting cross-legged on the rug of their living room with his laptop and papers scattered all around him. Donghyuck is in the kitchen cooking, he was told not to bother Jaehyun a few hours ago when he came home. The instructions made him roll his eyes, _of course Jaehyun would say that._

Donghyuck hasn’t heard much from Mark these days, just a few text messages telling him when he would be in the apartment next — which wasn’t for a few more days, and Donghyuck was starting to feel lonely.

He’s been avoiding Jungwoo, someone he considered to be one of his closest friends. Donghyuck is starting to doubt that. Just the thought of Jungwoo pissed him off and isn’t sure how to approach the boy with the thought of him being Jaehyun’s — _what does he call it? Side whore? He isn’t sure_ , but he didn’t know how to talk to him with that hanging over his head.

He hasn’t had a proper talk with Jaehyun in days, and he was sure his boyfriend was starting to notice it as well. After all, their entire relationship has probably just been Donghyuck waiting for him, adjusting for him.

Three knocks sound on the door and before Donghyuck can even think about looking up, Jaehyun is on his feet and rushing to open the door.

“Hi,” a soft voice sounds out — and Donghyuck has to hide the way his eyes roll at the sound of Jungwoo’s voice.

_God, fuck. Of course it’s Jungwoo. Of course Jaehyun would find a way to ruin what he was planning to be a special night._

It’s like every little time Donhyuck tries to do something good with Jaehyun, someone or something always comes around to fuck it up.

He’s tired.

**_Mark  
_ ** _Are you okay?_

Donghyuck has never been more thankful for Mark than in this moment. It’s crazy, really — how every time he feels anxious over even the smallest things, from so far away Mark knows what’s happening.

Donghyuck likes it.

He walks towards their bedroom, hearing Jungwoo and Jaehyun start up a conversation in the living room. He doesn’t care much for the dinner he was preparing anymore, it’s not like the two boys with him would even enjoy it.

He slips passed the sliding door, wanting nothing more than to be away from the apartment and the people inside it. _He wants a friend._ He doesn’t really have a lot of those, he wants them, though. Donghyuck used to think he was content with Jaehyun — that he was happiest with Jaehyun and he didn’t need anyone else.

He brings his phone to his ear, he doesn’t really know what brought him to even call Mark in the first place — but he _needs_ the comfort, he just needs someone to be there for him… and even if Mark is just a new friend and not someone he’s known for a long time, he feels comfortable around him.

“Hey. You okay?” he hears Mark’s voice, and Donghyuck finds himself looking up at his balcony. He wishes Mark could be here right now, maybe give Donghyuck a small smile telling him things will be okay.

“No. A bit stressed maybe? I don’t really know,” Donghyuck lets out a few defeated chuckles. “It’s so stupid. I think I’m being dramatic… I could be.”

Mark shifts around on the other line, and Donghyuck hopes he’s getting into a comfortable position because he doesn’t want this phone call to end any time soon. 

“Is it Jaehyun again? Didn’t he come home a few days ago?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck sighs, sniffing a little because of the cold. “Jungwoo too, they’re actually in the living room right now… just didn’t want to be in there with them, it just sucks.”

“It does suck, but it can also go away if you just decide to talk to them, Donghyuck. It’s the perfect time, they’re both there, after that you can be free.” Donghyuck can hear the tone in Mark’s voice — it isn’t disappointment or even frustration. “I just want you to have the happiness you deserve.”

Donghyuck smiles, he’s leaning over the balcony just staring down at the empty streets and empty sidewalks. He feels that way now — empty. He doesn’t know how to solve this one specific problem without fucking everything else in his life up and just the thought of confronting Jaehyun makes him anxious.

Now that he thinks about it, _Jaehyun_ makes him anxious. _Is that normal in relationships? Probably not._

“Hey Mark,” Donghyuck hums into the phone. “Do you think I’m happy with Jaehyun?”

Mark hesitates, not wanting to open his mouth just in case Donghyuck is waiting for an answer he can’t give. “I mean… honestly? No, I don’t think you’re happy. At some point maybe you were but recently, especially when I’ve gotten to know you, not really. I think you could be happier without him. But that’s just what I think.”

It’s exactly the answer Donghyuck is expecting and he knows deep down that it’s true. He knows he isn’t happy anymore, he’s figured that much in the last few days.

“I know, I’m just scared. I don’t know what I would do without him,” Donghyuck doesn’t mean this in the way people usually do. He can survive without Jaehyun, but he can’t survive without his presence — without someone else in his life as a constant, like his boyfriend, he doesn’t know what he’d do and where he’d go.

He hears Mark release a grunt of frustration. “You know I wish I was there right now. But I think one of my friends is coming over tomorrow, do you want me to ask him to go to you? You can spend a night in our apartment if your apartment makes you uncomfortable.”

Donghyuck smiles. “That would be lovely but I don’t really know much about your friends, or anyone else that lives in your apartment actually. It’s fine, Mark, I think I’ll be fine.”

Donghyuck knows he sounds like he’s trying to convince himself he’s okay more than Mark, and he knows Mark knows it too. He doesn’t say anything.

“Anywhere but there, though.” Mark says instead.

There’s more shuffling on Mark’s side of the line, soft mumbling as he covers the microphone. Donghyuck just sits in silence, hearing the soft laughter of Jaehyun and Jungwoo inside the apartment and wishing things could go back to normal and he didn’t know the things he did now.

“Listen, Donghyuck,” Mark coughs awkwardly. “I have to go but can I call you later?”

“No, you don’t have to,” Donghyuck answers quickly.

“Alright. I hope things go okay there, call me if anything happens.”

Donghyuck doesn’t reply, he just waits for Mark to end the call before he leans back in his chair with a huff. He thinks he’ll just sleep out here again tonight, there’s no point going back in just to feel like shit.

✦

Donghyuck feels sick.

There isn’t really a good reason for it, he just _feels_ it. He first felt it when he woke up without Jaehyun beside him, and the feeling just grew stronger as the day continued on.

“Donghyuck,” his seat mate waves his hand in front of his face. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry about it,” he mumbles in reply, offering his seat mate a smile.

He turns his focus back on their professor, who is still discussing in front. For a moment Donghyuck blanks out — completely forgetting what class he’s in.

“How much did I miss?” he whispers to his seatmate.

“Not much, I can lend you notes later,” he replies kindly before turning his attention back to the front.

Donghyuck needs water. Anything to distract himself, but he needs _water_. He doesn’t like this feeling of uncertainty in his stomach, his heart beating fast in his chest, and especially the voice at the back of his head telling him something bad is coming.

He grabs his bag off the floor in front of him and looks through it, looking for the water bottle he knows he always has inside.

“Fuck, I know it’s here,” he mumbles to himself with annoyance. The one time he needs his water bottle is the one time he doesn’t have it on him. It’s like _everything_ is going wrong.

“Uh,” his seatmate pulls him away from his grumbling. “I have water… if that’s what you need?”

He nods his head quickly, reaching for the water bottle his seatmate is offering him.

He feels guilt creeping up his body as he gulps down the water. He doesn’t know the name of the boy who offered him water and they’re almost at the end of the semester.

“Thank you,” Donghyuck uses the sleeve of his sweater to wipe away the water on his lips. He hands the boy back his water bottle with a shy smile.

“Anytime,” he smiles back. “I’m Jeno.”

“Donghyuck,” he gives Jeno a small smile, not really knowing what else to do — he was terrible with friends and he only really had Mark to count as a friend, but he wasn’t even sure if that’s a two-sided thing… he did just meet Mark only a few weeks ago.

They both turn back to their professor after the exchange. Jeno sneaks quick looks at Donghyuck every so often — Donghyuck pretends he doesn’t notice but the looks make him feel a weird way.

He doesn’t feel uncomfortable because Jeno seems like a good guy, he just gets the feeling that he’s being _guarded_. It’s a scary feeling and he wants to get away from it quickly, there was already too much going through his mind, he didn’t want to add this to it.

“Is everything okay?” he asks when Jeno turns his head way too obviously towards him. He doesn’t mean to sound rude.

“Yeah,” Jeno nods his head, there’s a small sparkle in his eyes that makes Donghyuck feel comfortable, like Jeno could be a good friend if he wanted to befriend him.

“Okay,” he offers him another smile — he wants to continue the conversation with Jeno, especially because Jeno seems like a really fun guy, but he cannot think of a good enough way to continue the conversation. Instead he maintains eye contact for a few more seconds and then turns away.

He fiddles with the ballpen in his hand, twirling it around his fingers as their professor drones on and on in front of them. He just wants this day to end, maybe when he gets a few hours of sleep the feeling in his stomach will go away, he just wants to _leave_.

“Do you need help?” Jeno offers when they’re let out of class. Donghyuck is planted to the ground, staring past Jeno and straight at the wall. He doesn’t know why he can’t bring himself to move — it could be because this is his last class of the day and this means he has to go home.

“I just don’t want to go home, that’s all,” he shrugs the feeling off and gives Jeno a small smile trying to tell him he’ll be okay.

“You look like you might be sick,” Jeno points out and Donghyuck nods. He _does_ feel sick but he doesn’t want anyone to worry about him so he just gives Jeno another comforting smile before he walks away.

His last class of the day got cancelled and Donghyuck thinks about telling Jaehyun, but another part of him hesitates to even open his texts with Jaehyun — maybe it’s the part of him that’s sick of being the one always getting hurt all the time.

He walks down the sidewalk that leads him nearer to his apartment. Pushing his feet in front of one another as he clutches his backpack strap, the feeling in his stomach isn’t a very good one and the nearer he gets to home the more he feels like all this has to do with Jaehyun and Jungwoo.

He tries not to think about it, pushing the thought to the back of his mind. What if he’s just being dramatic and nothing is really going to happen today?

Of course nothing ever really goes his way… at least recently.

The moment he steps onto his floor, a sudden feeling of dread washes over him as he forces his way towards his apartment.

He doesn’t know what pushes him forward or what emotion is running through his body — is it sadness? Anger? Disappointment? Either way, he finds himself throwing the door open the second he hears _moaning_ coming from inside his apartment — _loud_ moaning.

_His fucking apartment. They didn’t even have the decency to go at it somewhere Donghyuck doesn’t live in._

“Fuck,” he hears Jaehyun mutter. He hasn’t even walked inside too much to see his boyfriend, but he is definitely sure Jaehyun is inside, with someone who isn’t him.

“Fuck _you!_ ” he throws back at the two people inside, he hears them moving around — probably trying to collect themselves or get dressed or anything. _What is it that cheaters do when they’re caught, anyway?_

Jaehyun heads out of the bedroom first, in sweatpants that hang loosely off his waist, he’s shirtless and any other time Donghyuck would’ve swooned, but the moment he sees Jungwoo peek his head out of the apartment anger clouds his head.

He doesn’t think, he doesn’t even try convincing himself that there are consequences to what he’s doing — before any of them can process it, Donghyuck is stomping over to where Jungwoo is.

“You,” he seethes, pressing his finger against Jungwoo’s chest. “ _Especially_ you. Fuck you!”

Jungwoo leans away from Donghyuck, holding his shirt in his hands. He tries covering himself with it but it doesn’t matter, because in one quick second Donghyuck’s fist is connecting with his face.

There’s a long pause.

Jaehyun is in front of Donghyuck immediately, trying his best to grab the boy’s wrists to restrain him.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Donghyuck shouts, voice louder than any of them have ever heard before. He’s pulling away from Jaehyun, kicking at him with his legs as the boy tries approaching him.

“Hyuck,” Jungwoo cries out when Donghyuck finally manages to get a good kick to Jaehyun’s stomach.

“Do not talk to me, Jungwoo,” Donghyuck screams, bending over to pick up his phone that fell to the ground. “Never _ever_ fucking talk to me again.”

Jaehyun is standing in front of Donghyuck, blocking his way. He’s staring at Donghyuck with a weird kind of determination in his eyes.

“You aren’t leaving, Hyuck,” he says quietly — too quietly that Donghyuck can’t help but roll his eyes. Anger is filling his body and he just wants to get out of this _goddamn apartment_.

“You can’t tell me what to do anymore. I’m fucking _done_ with you,” he spits.

Jaehyun just shakes his head. “You aren’t leaving.”

“Yeah?” Donghyuck raises his eyebrows mockingly. “Fuck you.”

He’s said too many ‘Fuck you’s in just the last ten minutes but he doesn’t stop there, because he takes a step forward and punches Jaehyun — the sound his fist makes as it connects with Jaehyun’s jaw is sobering, therapeutic even.

Jaehyun is leaning against the wall, cradling his jaw in his hand as Donghyuck walks past him — he doesn’t try stopping him, he doesn’t even try calling out Donghyuck’s name.

Jungwoo is crying, sitting on the floor and leaning against the bed. 

“You’re pathetic, Jungwoo,” Donghyuck mutters when he turns around to look at the mess he created one last time. “You could’ve been a really great guy, but now all I see you as is a horrible person. _You_ are a horrible person.”

Jungwoo sobs, but the sound only annoys Donghyuck even more. He turns to look at Jaehyun, his boyfriend for 2 years. The disappointment floods through Donghyuck’s body and he doesn’t even try to maintain eye contact.

“You made me feel like shit for so long, fuck you.”

He turns around and heads out of his apartment, he doesn’t even notice he’s crying.

Mark was wrong, he said confronting his problem would make him feel good, but now all Donghyuck feels is sadness, anger, and so many more emotions he can’t even pinpoint. He’s angry with _himself_ , how weak does have to be to put up with this shit for so long?

For the first time, Donghyuck regrets waiting so long before talking to Jaehyun and Jungwoo, he’s angry with himself for keeping quiet and hurting on his own, when he could’ve opened up to Jaehyun and Jungwoo when he first found out about them

To make things worse, he didn’t even tell Mark about how he was feeling today, he has no idea what just happened and Donghyuck doesn’t really feel like bothering him now out of nowhere.

Even worse, he only realizes he didn’t bring anything else with him when he left the apartment. He was too in the heat of things to remember he only had his phone with him, he wasn’t even able to grab his school backpack from the living room before he left.

He’s sitting on one of the benches scattered around the courtyard, it could even be the bench he and Mark were sitting on a few days ago, but he doesn’t care. The tears are rolling down his cheeks and his chest hurts from how much he’s hiccuping, his sobs are so loud the people around them must be wondering how hurt Donghyuck is exactly.

 _Too hurt._ He’s known about the affair for a few weeks now but he never wanted to confront his problems. He kept quiet and hoped it wasn’t real — only for him to come face-to-face with it. God, the disgust he felt in his stomach when he heard Jungwoo through his front door, he didn’t even want to think about the things they were doing in there.

_Was he not enough? Is that why Jaehyun did what he did? He tried, though. Donghyuck tried so hard to be the best boyfriend he could be, he tried making their relationship happy. Where did he go wrong?_

“Donghyuck!” a voice shouts and he doesn’t even need to raise his head from his hands to realize Jaehyun followed him down here.

He’s disgusted. He doesn’t want to be anywhere near Jaehyun or Jungwoo. He doesn’t want to see his now _ex-boyfriend_ who made him feel like shit for so long. He hates him.

He stands up, preparing himself to run away if it was needed, he doesn’t want to be near anyone.

A hand wraps around his arm, exactly the same place Mark touched him before — but this time the force behind the action makes Donghyuck sick, he wants to turn around to punch Jaehyun, he wants him to feel the pain he has felt for so long.

But tears are rolling down his face and he refuses to show Jaehyun how hurt he is — he doesn’t deserve that satisfaction. He tries pulling away, forcing his arm out of Jaehyun’s grip.

“Let go,” he breathes out. He doesn’t have much energy left in him anymore and he just wants to run away. The tears are falling harder now and he’s sure Jaehyun can tell just by the sound of his voice.

“Listen to what I have to say,” Jaehyun replies, voice angry. Once again, he tries pulling Donghyuck to face him.

“God, Mark was right. You _are_ an asshole,” a new voice is heard. Donghyuck lifts his head the moment he hears Mark’s name — he needs Mark, he needs a friend to talk to, to cry to. He doesn’t want to be alone anymore.

“Who are you?” Jaehyun says loudly, sounding like he wants to intimidate the new boy standing in front of them.

Donghyuck doesn’t recognize him, he can only assume this is one of Mark’s friends. He knows one of his friends was going to be in the apartment today, the apartment Donghyuck used to watch daily. He doesn’t know any of their names and Mark never mentioned it to him.

“My name is Jaemin. Now let him _go,_ ” Jaemin’s voice is scary, if the sentence was directed at Donghyuck he would listen right away, but he knows Jaehyun is full of pride and he knows he isn’t one to be talked down easily, so when the grip around his arm tightens he isn’t surprised.

Donghyuck lets out a quiet whimper — the result of the pain he feels in his chest and the pain he feels from Jaehyun’s grip. He doesn’t know what’s happening, he just wants to leave. Leave Jaehyun, Jungwoo, and even this Jaemin guy he doesn’t know but who sounds like he’s there to help Donghyuck.

“Do you not fucking hear him?” Jaemin rushes toward Jaehyun and shoves him, pressing his two palms on the boy’s chest and sending him a few feet back.

Donghyuck holds his arm, knowing it’s going to bruise soon. He doesn’t know why Jaehyun never notices that Donghyuck is in pain, especially when he holds Donghyuck like he just was. It’s happened so many times in the past, he doesn’t even know why he didn’t realize it until now.

“Did you just fucking push me?” Jaehyun asks Jaemin, his voice is low and scary and Donghyuck wants to curl up and cry but he doesn’t want to give in to Jaehyun anymore. He doesn’t want to be so affected by Jaehyun anymore.

“Yeah, and I’ll do it again. Get away from him.”

Jaemin moves towards Donghyuck, his face immediately softening into a kind and caring expression. Donghyuck doesn’t know how to feel about a complete stranger approaching him but he doesn’t feel like pulling away. He would do anything just for a few minutes to cry to someone.

“Come with me,” he says softly. Nudging his head towards the building opposite the one Donghyuck lives — lived — in. He doesn’t know how he feels about staying somewhere so near where all his pain and sadness is from, but he finds himself following Jaemin — this complete stranger who tells Donghyuck he’s there to help.

Perhaps he’s stupid to think Jaehyun would let him go so quickly. Maybe it’s stupid for Jaehyun to keep trying to make Donghyuck listen, he doesn’t want to listen, he doesn’t even want to hear Jaehyun’s voice anymore.

“No,” Jaehyun runs towards them and grabs Donghyuck in the same exact spot he was holding earlier and Donghyuck hisses in pain.

“I fucking told you to leave him alone,” Jaemin’s face contorts into one of annoyance and exasperation as he pushes past Donghyuck and swings his arm for Jaehyun’s face.

His punch sounds like it’ll do a lot more damage to Jaehyun than Donghyuck’s punch. He’s not even sure if his would even bruise Jaehyun’s face, he hopes it will. It doesn’t sound like it did much damage, though. Jaemin’s punch is enough to keep Jaehyun away long enough for Jaemin to take Donghyuck’s hand and run him towards the entrance of the other building.

Their apartment looks exactly the same as Donghyuck’s. Emptier, but that’s a given, no one permanently lives here. The kitchen is almost bare and there are only a few bags of groceries containing chips and canned goods laying around the counters.

“You can sit here first,” Jaemin mumbles, pointing at the couch beside him. “Feel free to turn the TV on or use the bathroom or whatever, you can take a shower if you want, there’s spare towels under the sink.”

Donghyuck smiles at him, it isn’t a very big smile but it’s the only one he has enough energy to make. His cheeks are full of dried up tears and he knows he probably looks like an absolute mess in front of this boy who just helped him.

“I have to go make a call, make yourself comfortable.”

Donghyuck nods again and stares at the bathroom door, the only other door inside the apartment besides the bedroom Jaemin just walked into. Taking a shower sounds tempting, but he doesn’t want to overstep.

He looks terrible — that’s his first thought when he sees himself in the mirror. He looks worse than he could have ever imagined and he’s beyond embarrassed Jaemin had to see him while he looked like this.

He splashes the cold water on his face, knowing it’s probably wetting his shirt but he doesn’t care. He needs to feel something to take his mind off what just happened, and if shivering from the cold water will do the job then Donghyuck will do what it takes.

When he exits the bathroom, Jaemin is sitting on the couch typing away on his phone. The television is on and it’s playing a children’s cartoon, Donghyuck assumes it’s more for his comfort than anything, he didn’t really want to sit in silence right now.

“Are you okay?” Jaemin asks him when he notices Donghyuck standing by the bathroom door.

“Yeah, just a bit tired. I can book a hotel room until I figure things out.”

“Ah, no need. You can stay here until things are okay for you,” Jaemin stands up from the couch so he and Donghyuck are looking straight at each other. “Or until Mark makes up his mind.”

“Are you friends with Mark?” Donghyuck finds himself asking.

“Yeah, I live with him. I kinda have to like the guy, you know?”

Donghyuck nods his head in understanding. He turns away from Jaemin, not really knowing what else to do with himself.

“I have to head to work right now, actually. It’s where I was going when I saw things downstairs,” Jaemin looks down at his phone, probably checking how late he was for work.

“I can go with you,” Donghyuck offers, already heading towards the door.

“Wait, no!” Jaemin stops him and walks toward Donghyuck. He gives the boy a comforting smile.

“Mark said you might be really tired so you can rest here first. Please stay until I get back from work, I don’t think the others will be able to pick you up so you kinda have to wait until I come back. Make yourself at home.”

Donghyuck doesn’t know who ‘the others’ are and why they need to pick him up, but he doesn’t have any energy to continue a conversation so he just nods and lets Jaemin direct him to the couch.

He doesn’t even notice Jaemin closing the curtains and turning off the lights, he can’t even bring himself to thank the boy because the moment his head meets the pillow Jaemin left him on the couch his eyes close.

He falls asleep thinking of everything that happened to him today and everything that’s happened to him in the last few weeks. He thinks of Jaehyun and Jungwoo and how the two people who used to be very important to him now meant nothing. He thinks of Mark, Jeno, and Jaemin, the three boys he only met recently but have helped him and treated him like a friend.

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/iamhaechanluvr)   
>  [curious cat](https://curiouscat.qa/haechan143)


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